8/9/2022

so, i have autism. not like the cute online twtblr version of autism where i make cute noises to stim and talk about my uwu cute special interests, no. i have self harming, meltdown/shutdown having, can't mask A.U.T.I.S.M and it isn't fun! not a lot of the time, anyway. i do take pride in my identity as an autistic person but i don't sugar coat the disorder. and i think i realized something recently that i have to get out in a blog post because thats how i solidify personal growth i guess?

anyway. this summer has been really busy for me. well, busier than i'm used to. we went to a convention out of town for a whole weekend in may, went to a theme park resort with a family friend for 3 days in june and i experienced some heavy personal loss in july. i haven't really had much time to recover from all of that yet, and my next semester starts on the 15th. not to mention right after the convention i caught covid and spent a week bedridden, which wasn't fun for me due to personal trauma reasons. and after life finally stopped using me as its personal punching bag i just felt numb and tired, like i needed to sleep for a month straight and pick back up later.

and then i remembered autistic burnout is a thing...

i don't often get burnout (at least i don't think) but when i do it hits hard. i've basically been in a fugue state while bringing this site back because, i think, i felt like i needed to have control over some aspect of my life because i felt out of control. moonview, and by extension neocities, did that for me so i'll be forever thankful for that. now that i recognize and understand what i'm going through, i really need to find ways to cope with it. but that'll be hard seeing as i barely know what i'm looking for. i'll be able to do it, though. hopefully i'll be able to get back to some area of normalcy before i start my new semester.

P.S. as i was writing this i got a bunch of pokemon cards in the mail! i am working on my next deck (yes i play the ptcg! i might write about it on the pokeshrine at some point,) which is a lunatone mewtwo VSTAR deck built almost completely out of the pokemon go set that just released. all of my VSTARS came on the same day which is really good, i already have all the mewtwo Vs i need so i just needed these and some more solrock/lunatones! ^__^

8/5/2022

hello! as you can see, i updated the blog section a bit! :-D i like this layout of things a bit more, it really breaks up the entries, which i hope will lend to easier reading (for me and you!)

in the last blog i detailed how i got a mew from gen 1 into gen 4 so i could play with it in my pokewalker. recently, i got it in me to frankenstein it into a legal version of itself so i can trade it into newer games, if i want. and with new SV news i just very well might clone it so i can take my beloved ひごうほう (meaning illegal, thank you to tei kazami for suggesting that, i'll explain why it's in japanese in due time) with me to paldea this november! i just preordered pokemon violet digitally, so all there is to do is wait now!

here they are! again! ひごうほう is now considered a "legal" pokemon, meaning it matches a possible encounter from a japanese copy of pokemon emerald. specifically japanese, and specifically emerald, because i modeled them after the japan exclusive faraway islands mew that was obtainable in pokemon emerald via an event. PKHeX, the program i used to achieve this, has a strange problem when it comes to naming japanese pokemon with the english alphabet. it will give an error saying something like "nickname is blank" when using english characters. so, federal, FBI nor illegal could be considered valid names. i used the japanese word for illegal instead, to reference not only the original name ideas given by tei, but their origins as a pokemon.

there's probably something to be said that this mew is no longer considered my "original" mew from pokemon yellow, but a philosopher i am not, so i will leave that line of thinking to those who want to tackle it. i still very much consider this my original mew taking on a new identity in order to one day make it into pokemon home (when i can justify the purchase of a subscription to the service). in order to even to this, i had to use a program known as RNGreporter. very simply, what this does is generate PIDs (pokemon IDs) given certain parameters set by the user, such as their trainer ID and secret ID, and the game they are trying to get an encounter in. all i had to do was plug in the ID numbers and generation of game i was looking for, and then set the IVs and nature of the pokemon accordingly, and it's magically considered legal! this is quite an interesting topic to me, so i had a lot of fun figuring out how to gen legal pokemon using PKHeX.

one more thing before i go. i recently got my friend kayla onto neocities! i would like to promote her here and have some of you readers go check her out. she is starting a genshin impact diary on her page, where she talks about playing the game! (if you read it, i was the friend who got her into it *evil laugh*) she's currently learning HTML and CSS, so i let her borrow the layout of my site. please go support her at hanamizaka heroics!

7/29/2022

how i scienced a mew from pokemon yellow into my pokewalker

recently, i got my hands on a GBxCART. it's a little PCB with a USB-C cable and a cartridge port that can connect to gameboy, gameboy color, and gameboy advance games. it's quite a neat little thing, i'm big on game preservation so i got it in order to back up my collection of gameboy titles. not only so i can play them on my PC and transfer the saves to my virtual console 3DS copies, but so i can do things as per the title. and boy, do i have a story.

now, there is a pokemon save editing tool online known as PKHeX. this is what i used for this experiment. first, i simply exported the save file of my pokemon yellow cartridge to my computer.

somehow, this fried the save on my cartridge. i'll try to restore it tomorrow, but for now, everything is pretty much safe on my PC.

now, if you know anything about pokemon, you'll know mew is not normally obtainable ingame. this is correct! the even more knowledgeable will know there are glitches that can allow you to catch mew. this is what i did at around 4? years or so ago to get my mew. up until today he's been stuck rotting inside my copy of yellow, but tonight is the night i release him!

this is mew in PKHeX. so close to freedom he can taste it. unbeknownst to me, however, PK1 files can only be transferred into gens 2 and 7 using PKHeX, for some reason. you cannot transfer from gen 1 or 2 into 4, 5, or 6. most likely due to how the games calculate stats, i think. i wanted so deeply to take my mew with me in my 10 year old piece of plastic shaped like a pokeball that i recreated the mew as a clone in my backed up save of soulsilver. as i'm writing this, i am realizing i could have transfered from yellow to silver via the time capsule, then from there transfer the mew via PKHeX into gen 3, then pal park it into platinum and then trade it into SS. yeah, cloning it was probably easier.

here he is. i take all my photos for this site on my 3ds camera due to ease of transferal, so apologies for the quality, but. here he is. he will not be able to make the journey through pokemon bank, or pokemon home (he was a glitch in the first place, so he's considered an "illegal" pokemon) but i think he will be happy here in SS. after all, this game has his home region.

thank you to anyone who read this far! i have one final request; i want to give this mew a name. he's always just been called "MEW" i guess since 17 year old me didn't care enough to name it. i'll leave the name up vote and i'll pick the one i like. most likely there will only be a handful of options anyway so i'll take what i can get. again, thank you for reading. :)

7/25/2022

i went to the antique mall up north today! got some amazing finds, too! i had found a bear mug i really wanted, but mom said we didn't have space in the cupboard so i had to say goodbye. is was so cute, too... i also found some 80s care bear plushies (of my favorite characters!!) but given that they were covered in a mysterious brown substance, i didn't feel that $20 was a good price for any of them... i did not leave empty handed though!

both of these were only $9.95! at least for pac-man world 2, that was a steal! for crash nitro kart, that seems to be the regular asking price. super happy with that! i got pac-man world 1 on ebay a while back (conveinently right when they announced the remake) so a copy of 2 will fit nicely into my collection. :) i also got something else today that i'm super excited about !!!

a pokewalker! words cannot explain how happy i am right now. i had my original pokewalker i got with my copy of soulsilver since day 1, took it with me everywhere and it even survived a move. i did eventually lose it though, on a trip to epcot one year. some kid probably took it, so i'm happy for them if they actually used it, by that time it was pushing a decade old. but i was devistated for a long time after i lost that. it genuinely is one of my favorite pieces of tech to come out of pokemon, besides the pokedex toys. i'm so happy to have my own again, it's hard to even put it to words! all around, really great day today! going to go hang out with family for a bit and then work on moonview some more. need to get the shrine page up and ready!

7/21/2022

does anyone else ever just feel like, a sense of complete dread and you have no idea what caused it? that's me right now. just got back from game night at my local card shop (ended up getting my mom into ptcg, nice!) but now i just feel like i want to disappear. why??? ? ? i had a good night, there's no logical reason i should be having such bad anxiety right now. i know everyone there, i am helping my mom build a deck, i played genshin and will probably play kirby when i get in bed tonight. so why do i feel like there are bugs under my skin? it's all quite strange.

i hesitate to ascribe any real words to what i'm feeling because, actually it's probably because of the anxiety i am feeling right now. something deep in my mind is screaming at me even as i write this that i am going to get flooded with emails and DMs about "how dare you say you have ___ when you've never paid some random doctor $300 to test you for ___!! for shame!" but i know that's simply illogical and would never happen. is this paranoia? is this the actual definition of paranoia? because i think it might be. talking about it is helping though, i am very glad i started this blog. although while talking about it is helping me work through these feelings, someone in my mind is telling me i probably should not post this?

i sometimes use personifying words when describing my emotions because thats how they feel. it feels kind of like "inside out" where all my emotions are real, living people who have control over my meatsack and puppet me according to how they feel. i mean, my emotions certainly aren't easy to control, i can almost hear my "anxiety" talking in my head sometimes, like it's another person in the room with me, speaking to me. i think that's enough for tonight. sorry for the rambly blog, i needed to get this out somewhere.

7/19/2022

first blog post on the new site! youpie! that's cause for celebration right? i sure think so! i got the new layout up and running within a day, so i'm pretty proud of myself for that. for its old layout, it took me multiple days and contacting others in the community for help to get it to the state it was in until i came back. that's worth something, i think. at least it's proof of how far i've come as a webmaster. on a bit of a more personal note, i want to be open and explain my sudden redesign.

for as long as i can remember i have struggled with the feeling that i have been living multiple lives. people will tell me things i have no memory of, or i will find evidence of it myself. moonview was one such piece of evidence. when i rediscovered this part of "me" back in 2019? 2020? it felt completely alien to me. not a sort of nostalgic lookback on my teenage hobby, more of a "why does this say i made it and kept it up since 2016, but i have no memory of making it?" type reaction. it was genuinely pretty scary. but, i liked the idea so "I" started using it, and i think the same thing happened just on the other end. that, and some as of this year recently resolved trauma, lead me to the administrative decision to remake moonview, or NOAgarden. my name is noa, by the way.

not only this, but social media has been stressful for me for years. my twitter mostly, in trying to grow a small audience through my art. drawing became more "what will get me the most traction" instead of "i deeply cherish this gift i was given, the talent to create images and stories and characters to express myself in ways i could never in meatspace." which is what brought me to the same decision as above, remake moonview, and add a hosting spot for my art. that way, it can be out in the world for people to enjoy forever, and not for the limited amount of time it takes to click "retweet" on a post.

these are my personal writings, updated whenever i want!

general CW, i can't know what i am going to write before i write it. it's up to you to decide when and if you need to stop reading something. it probably will never get that dark though, mostly personal musings and #JustWebmasterThings. have fun reading though!